Most of the time it’s difficult to admit that you and your partner don’t have a perfect relationship. It is a constant work in progress, since every person varies and responds differently to situations. If you’re a couple in distress, lacking in intimacy, or considering separation, marriage counseling may be able to help address the issues in your relationship.
It used to be every 12 hours. After a few years, it became once a week. Add some kids in the bedroom and a busy day schedule, our sexual intimacy was limited to once a month. After that, I refused to count. I don’t know if it’s because we’re getting old, he has meds to take, I am a depressed individual or all of the factors combined. It seemed impossible that the once sexually eager couple like us became too cold. Is it because of life? Or is it because I lost touch with my sexuality and he feels I’m not that good in bed?
Sex plays a vital role in every intimate relationship. It is a human’s way of expressing their affection to a significant other and is an act that leads to procreation. Both parties should enjoy sex and it should also be fun and satisfying.
However, fun and games in the bedroom aren’t always the case for all. In fact, many couples experience sexual dryness and dissatisfaction. Several factors correlate to this, and it is very alarming since this can lead to relationship trouble or even separation.
The question is: How do I know that I do not sexually satisfy my partner? Here are the signs.
You’re Too Insecure About Your Body
If you are too conscious about your body, your focus on your partner will waver. Being so aware of how your body looks for your partner or how you will look in a specific position will get your mind off the intercourse which will then decrease the satisfaction level of the other.
You Don’t Know How To Get Yourself Off
A significant part of sex has a lot to do with body exploration. If you are not doing it with passion, your partner will notice it, and your insecurities will kick in.
You’re Not Hygienic When It Comes To Your Private Parts
If you seldom wash your armpits and other prone-to-smell body parts, chances are you’ll turn your partner’s sexual urge off. Once he detects an annoying smell on you, it will take his mind off the sexual activity and turn him off.
You Use The Same Move Every Single Time
Sex should always be exciting and full of pleasure. Treat it is an adventure, not an obligation or a chore. If you only know one trick and have been using it ever since, it will bore your partner.
You Never Talk About Sex
Communication should work hand-in-hand with sex when it comes to intimate relationships. If both of you are not open to talking about what you want from each other, then you will have a difficult time finding ways on how to get your partner on fire.
You Try To Mimic Adult Films Way Too Often
Sex you see in adult films are orchestrated and choreographed for the audience, so don’t expect that you can duplicate it and get the same thing. You’ll only end up frustrated and unsatisfied.
I feel the need to make another blog about this topic. It will be published shortly after this part one, and it will cover six more signs. But you know what, years of therapy made me realize that it’s not just about me. It’s about us, as a couple. Sex is supposed to be natural, and there are no standards to that. It’s an expression of your lust, commitment, longing, thirst, and love for your partner. Anyway, with professional help, you can stop overthinking and start feeling good about yourself amidst this issue.
There are many reasons why couples go for online marriage counseling compared to the traditional approach. The internet has provided people with ease and convenience from social media communication, to shopping, and yes, even online counseling. With just a click of a button, a couple can have the opportunity to resolve their issues and maybe, just maybe, save their marriage.
Relationships are never static. There are ups and downs through the life of each relationship. We all know there are times when our partner is our favorite person in the world and there are other times where they are certainly one of our least favorites! Often, these are the times when people tend to turn to relationship counseling (when things have taken a turn for the worse). This is certainly what seems to be depicted on television and in the movies; the typical married couple, maybe around the seven-year-itch time, yelling at each other on a couch as a therapist nods along sympathetically. However, please don’t let this taint your view of relationship counseling as this is not what you should expect. You might be surprised to know though that there are a number of ways relationship counseling can help in addition to the usual “damage control” that is often most commonly expected. Continue reading “How Counseling Can Save Your Relationship”
My inspiration for this writeup is my best friend. She’s the one talking about her experience with her husband on the first part of this writeup. (For those who haven’t read the first part, I suggest that you go there first before reading this one. This is the concluding article, and it would be helpful for you to read that before you enjoy this one.) I remember her telling me over the phone. She was crying her heart out, and I couldn’t seem to understand her words, “My husband left me. He said I’m not good in bed, and that he hates me! We’re getting a divorce.”
My now-husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for a solid three years. He was in the military and had to go to another country to fulfill his duties. We could get married before his deployment so that I could live with him. However, I was only in my second year in the university back then, and he knew about my promise to my dad that I would finish my degree before tying the knot. So, we had no choice but to be in a long-distance relationship.
The years we spent apart were honestly not easy to deal with. The fear of the other person getting romantically involved with a third party was out of the question because my man got stationed practically away from civilization. What’s difficult, however, was staying in contact with one another.
The first year was the hardest stage. My beau and I used to be around each other all the time. Hence, being thousands of miles away from each other made me long for him so much, and vice versa. We would text and video call a few times a day. We would try to take a break on the same day and merely spend it on a “movie date.” By that, I mean I would open Netflix and turn the camera towards the TV screen so that he could watch a film with me.
On the second years, things became a little trickier because we had more responsibilities in our fields. The calls became less frequent; often, we could only communicate through texts. Sometimes, my man would even fall asleep while we were video chatting out of exhaustion, or vice versa.
When the third year came, and his deployment was about to end, I had a heart-to-heart talk with my beau to figure out where we stand. As it turns out, he loves me as much as I love him, and he doesn’t want our relationship to end. When my boyfriend came back, he asked for my hand, filed for retirement, and opened his business. The “long-distance” part of our relationship passed, and we are now happily married.
If you are still in LDR mode, here’s what I learned from my experience that I could share to you.
Communication is and will always be essential for any relationship. Especially when you live thousands of miles apart, you need to talk – not text – as much as possible. Written messages cannot express how you feel, after all, so you have to use your voice to make the other person understand you.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, the effort should not come from one-half of the couple only. You should learn how to compromise to avoid making the other person feel neglected. For instance, if you are too busy today, make time for your love the next day.
An individual who cares for you sincerely will never make you feel like you are not their priority and vice versa. Be sure to take at least a few minutes to update one another about your whereabouts and what you are doing. Take note of their likes as well so that you can give it to them if a chance arises.
There’s nothing to worry about no matter how far you are from your love as long as you feel secure with your relationship. Just wait – you may have the same happy ending that I have gotten.
In some marriages, this is what happens. The couple becomes so familiar with each other and grows very close over the years that they sometimes forget to treat one another with utmost respect. The husband will progress from white lies to compulsively lying. Nagging and shouting even at the littlest of things – this becomes the wife. With their “too familiar” behavior, the couple will then begin to hate each other and can fall out of love.
This is very heartbreaking. You are in a relationship with the love of your life. You thought that everything will be smooth sailing. You never expected to have this fiasco of betrayal and lies, but it still happened. He cheated on you. So to get even with you, you also cheated on him. Is there a chance to salvage your almost fairy tale relationship?
My parents are a product of long distance relationship. They met in their last year of college in New York, but mom’s family is from Jersey and dad’s live in Baltimore. When they graduated, both had to go back to their hometowns for work. Their relationship lasted for five years before they got married.
There will be times when a couple would feel that being in that relationship is just for compliance or for being in the safe zone. The butterflies in their stomachs when seeing each other are no longer there. This can particularly be true with relationships that have been going on for quite some time now.