Falling Out Of Love – What To Do

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In some marriages, this is what happens. The couple becomes so familiar with each other and grows very close over the years that they sometimes forget to treat one another with utmost respect. The husband will progress from white lies to compulsively lying. Nagging and shouting even at the littlest of things – this becomes the wife. With their “too familiar” behavior, the couple will then begin to hate each other and can fall out of love.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Falling out of love with your spouse is a very sad thing. Husbands and wives are supposed to live and love each other ‘til death. But what the books and articles don’t mention is that marriage is not just hard work. It is for those who can tread the “impossible”. When you learn to be selfless, your marriage just might make it through the superstorm.

Losing interest in your spouse doesn’t happen overnight, though. The whole thing revolves around a series of situations wherein a person will feel differently about his or her spouse. The wife may accuse the husband of cheating even if he is not and this can add to his hurt feelings. She will then trample on his ego or criticize him and she thinks it’s all good. Small things like that are often overlooked as “not a big deal”, but it adds up to the resentment, anger, frustration or disgust of the person.

Signs that you have Fallen Out of Love for your Significant Other

This sensitive topic is the usual reason for couples in the US and the UK for their separation or divorce. People just give up on marriage so easily because they think there is always divorce. I can always marry another person when I find him or her. It’s easy.

Well, that’s not the issue at all. Marriage is supposed to be an everlasting bond between two people as blessed by the Almighty.  As the Bible said: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Then, why is divorce rate getting higher each year?


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Read these signs below and see if the following statements hold true to your marriage or not.

  1. Not many things or interests bring us together.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. We don’t really stay together that much since it’s not a priority for us.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. Flirting with other people is exciting and the thought of having sex with other people is open to us.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. I feel that my partner is not a “good person”.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. It’s difficult for us to talk about our differences in a positive manner.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. Talking to my spouse about what’s bothering me will turn into fights and so, I don’t do it anymore.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. My spouse’s words and actions bring me resentment each day.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. I don’t share my deep worries with my spouse. We don’t talk much about our activities, events or experiences.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. The future of my marriage looks gloomy.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?
  1. We don’t say thanks to each other or appreciate one another. I only feel exasperated.
  • True? Somewhat true? False?

If your answers are mostly FALSE, then, CONGRATULATIONS. You and your spouse are deeply connected and very much in love with each other. Upon counting, you see a lot of SOMEWHAT TRUE, it means that your marriage is on-the-rocks right now, but there is still love and it can be “helped”. Now, if your answers are mostly TRUE, it is possible that you have fallen out of love with your spouse.


What to do if you fell out of love?

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You need to be honest with your spouse about this matter and whether you want to seek avenues in repairing the marriage or not. You and your spouse can fix this – believe that this is just a phase and that your marriage problems can be healed. You can resort to marriage counseling or online therapy, for starters. (Many therapy counseling services online have everything you need to know about repairing your marriage.) Effort is necessary, but it will all be worth it. It can slowly bring back the spark in your love life.