Marriage Counseling: Techniques And Methods Used


Most of the time it’s difficult to admit that you and your partner don’t have a perfect relationship. It is a constant work in progress, since every person varies and responds differently to situations. If you’re a couple in distress, lacking in intimacy, or considering separation, marriage counseling may be able to help address the issues in your relationship.

Marriage counseling, also known as couples counseling, is used to support individuals in intimate relationships and to recognize conflicts that partners have trouble in resolving and dealing with. For couples, this can be a start to a roadway of improvement in the relationship as well as self-awareness.


Techniques Used In Marriage Counseling

In marriage counseling, many methods can be used to approach multiple issues and concerns. Picking the right counselor and counseling process is crucial when diving into couples therapy. To decide which technique is most suitable for you and your spouse, here are some of the types of marriage counseling:


Gottman Method

The purpose of the Gottman Method is to increase intimacy, affection, and respect. This technique teaches you how to create love maps of your spouse’s issues, wishes, hopes, and worries. It allows you to express yourself and your needs and it stresses its goal of attaining conflict management instead of conflict resolution. Once you can talk about issues calmly, it can strengthen the fondness and appreciation within the relationship.


Positive Psychology


It is a type of therapy used to accept the idea of living the present and focusing on the positive emotions. Some people are often blind to happy moments since negative memories can easily overpower these. Positive psychology allows you to seize good feelings and situations as they happen instead of worrying about the past or what may happen in the future. This method can be very liberating and satisfying for couples.


Individual Counseling

“Counseling can help you and your partner not only resolve issues, but identify issues, as well.” Elana Schechtman-Gil LMFT said. If you feel like you and your partner really cannot communicate well, you might be advised to try individual counseling. Individual counseling often comes into play when a partner isn’t willing to follow through couples counseling. Once one or both partners are unable to express well, it may become ineffective. To completely understand what may be adding fire to the conflict, couples may be asked to attend sessions separately.


Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago relationship therapy is used to recognize reasons for negative thoughts and perspectives in the relationship. It helps in strengthening the communication between you and your spouse. The way the therapist approaches your conflict is to view it as the key to resolving the lack of unity between the partners. According to Rachel Shimoni Simons, LMFT, “Therapy should be tailored to each individual client’s strengths and challenges. ”


Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy


Dr. Susan Johnsons initially developed an emotionally focused therapy for couples in marriage counseling, but now it can be used for family counseling and is being practiced all over the world in hospitals, clinics, and training centers. This form of therapy is centered on increasing the bond between you and your partner. It influences you to expand your emotional responses and interact better with your spouse. “Therapy gives you permission to allow you to feel the pain and know that it’s valid,” says Carmen Gehrke, LMHC.


Narrative Therapy

This couples counseling technique encourages you to look at conflicts from different perspectives and angles. By exploring this with your partner, you can shine light upon negative issues that have been troubling the both of you. This way, alternative measures can be taken to solve your problems and change the narrative of the relationship.