The 2019 Counselors Symposium was a great venue for mental health professionals and counselors to come together and discuss some issues with regards to mental health. With the advent of new technology and having a fast-paced society, depression and anxiety are now considered as main issues that have been talked about by mental health professionals. These are real problems and are serious as diabetes, stroke, or heart ailments.
The 2017 Counselors Symposium was what I needed, at that time, to push through with my chosen career. I am a school Guidance Counselor by profession, and I thought I was ready to face angsty teenagers right after I got my certification in 2017. But I was not emotionally prepared for what came to be the first month I was on duty. I met Melinda. She is sixteen years old, and she told me that she was pregnant. And that she did not want her baby.
Most of the time it’s difficult to admit that you and your partner don’t have a perfect relationship. It is a constant work in progress, since every person varies and responds differently to situations. If you’re a couple in distress, lacking in intimacy, or considering separation, marriage counseling may be able to help address the issues in your relationship.
According to studies, women are more likely not to experience orgasm during sexual intercourse. This condition is not considered an abnormality since women have different body compositions compared to men, who tend to be very sexual.
Here are some factors that can affect orgasm in women.
Critical Thought Toward One’s Body
Women have this tendency to be too demanding of themselves – their body image in particular. Social norms and even how parents raise their daughters may have influenced this. We always find something wrong with our bodies, which can make way for insecurities and issues in self-confidence. And this doesn’t help in achieving maximum sexual pleasure during the intercourse.
Seeing Sex As Something Morally Wrong
Most of the time, women exposed to distorted perceptions about sex can impact their views on sex. In fact, this can be taken from the community where she grew up and from her parents. Sex, especially for more conservative people, is considered dirty and a sin which can affect a woman’s view. The tendency is, sex has become an obligation to fulfill for their husbands’ desires instead of an act of self-pleasure and joy.
Guilt Over Severing The Connection With A Mother Who Was Sexually Repressed
A woman, no matter how old they become, is always a mother’s little girl. In fact, from physical features to philosophies in life, a daughter usually takes after her mother. So if the mother has a negative attitude towards sex, the child adopts it and suppresses herself from enjoying it to the fullest.
Fear Of Awaking Hidden Sadness
Women who experience emotional pain during their childhood will have higher chances of not enjoying intimacy during sex. Women who suffer from such in their past cut any emotional attachments in time of the intercourse disallowing them to experience the fullest essence of sex.
Fear Of Vulnerability
Emotional pain due to a broken intimate relationship can hold a woman from experiencing the joy brought by sex. Because of that experience, women tend to withdraw, avoid and even refuse emotional attachments with other individuals. And since sex has to do with emotions, women with this problem cannot break through the wall they built themselves, disabling them to experience climax during sex.
Fear Of Remembering Memories of Abuse And Trauma
Women who experienced abuse and trauma in the past have very slim chances of experiencing orgasm during intercourse. Being in contact with another person may open or bring in old memories of the abuse which will make the woman utterly uncomfortable during the whole intercourse. Situations like these will prevent her from experiencing the pleasures sex can bring.
Fear Of Lack of Control
Women who are always in control or command usually experience difficulties regarding intimacy. They have this notion that once they gave in to the affection bought in by sex, they would lose control of themselves, refraining them from experiencing the maximum level of sexual pleasure.
These are just some of the many factors that can hinder women from experiencing the ultimate pleasure of sex. However, these can be overcome with the help of their respective partners or by getting professional help.
Don’t worry about therapists or counselors. They are professional people who will help you address these problems. You can even try online therapy for anonymity if traditional counseling makes you uncomfortable. Eventually, with treatment, you will get over these factors that affect your carnal pleasures.
There are many reasons why couples go for online marriage counseling compared to the traditional approach. The internet has provided people with ease and convenience from social media communication, to shopping, and yes, even online counseling. With just a click of a button, a couple can have the opportunity to resolve their issues and maybe, just maybe, save their marriage.
Suicidal Thoughts – A Silent Evil
Suicidal thoughts are terrifying to the core, and this silent evil is plaguing some people in this world. These individuals believe that their lives are meaningless, hopeless, useless, helpless, and worthless. In their minds, no one will care for them and that no one loves them. They just wish to die than to feel this type of emptiness combined with anger, guilt, extreme sadness, and self-loathe. It is their only way out.
Reasons Why Some People Have Suicidal Thoughts
In most cases, the main reason why people think that suicide is the answer to their problem is that of their family issues. A close second is their issues with finances or money. Would you believe that people also contemplate of killing themselves because of work-related problems? There are many other factors as to why some individuals think of suicide, but these three mentioned are the most common.
For them, life is worth living if you have a perfect family, lots of money, and the ultimate profession or career. They cannot see that life is all about a balance of things, working around the obstacles, and acceptance of what you have and what you lack. If you want something, with effort and perseverance, you can improve on it, correct? Well, people with suicidal thought can’t think that way.
While some people succeed in the three things mentioned, there are some who just can’t fathom the concept of losing a family member or having a broken family, living with limited funds, and not having the job they think they deserve. They would instead end their life than to be deficient in these life areas. Of course, these issues are pushed to the surface by mental health concerns like depression, stress, and anxiety. People with psychological disorders are more likely to think of suicide.
What’s more shocking is that some people think of dying for very shallow factors – rejected love, debts, family fights and the likes. “I didn’t realize just how painful it would be,” says Laura Sobik, PhD, now a psychologist at James Madison University’s counseling and student development center. You know, these issues have positive solutions and repairable. Suicide should never be an option, even for life-altering reasons.
Self-Help: Preventing Suicidal Thoughts And The Importance Of Counseling
“We have more than 100 studies from around the world now that demonstrate how media reports on suicide impact the risk of contagion,” said Daniel Reidenberg, PsyD. For people who have suicidal thoughts, the first option is to get professional help. Call a suicide hotline which is operated by your country if you or a loved, one is contemplating self-harm and suicide. Appropriate support and therapy are available for you immediately, especially if you have an underlying mental health disorder.
Nonetheless, there are also things you can perform at home which will reduce your suicidal thoughts. Being in this situation can be exhausting and confusing, but these tips might help you wash away the issues you are facing at the moment. It can give you enough time to call for help:
- Be self-aware and use your sense of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch to distract you from your bad thoughts. Explore it whenever you feel like those contemplations are creeping up on you.
Look at beautiful things in life like art, flowers, the sky, the ocean or beach and whatever can make you feel better. Watching a movie can also help divert you from the thought.
Reach for your cologne, perfume, scented soap or aromatherapy oils and smell it. Listen to your favorite music band while you eat your favorite food. If you like pasta, then, eat pasta. Opt for a massage, go for a mani-pedi, wear silk clothing, and the likes to awaken your sense of touch. These little things will help you with your issues.
- Stay away from pills, illegal drugs, hard drinks, beer, and wine. Just don’t consume any of it.
- Practice these mantras:
I can get through this for I am strong.
Everything will get better.
My hormones are acting up again, and I can control it.
An hour from now, I will look back on this and say – Hey, I’ve conquered you.
Suicide is never an option.
- Journalize your thoughts and take baby steps in healing. You don’t have to rush in “fixing” yourself. Take it one day at a time, with your mantras in mind.
“unable to see beyond their acute and immediate struggles, which may be related to being victimized by a bully, being a survivor of sexual assault or violence, being uncertain about their sexual orientation, or medical and/or psychological disorders,” said Krystle Herbert, LMFT, PsyD.
- Ask for help. Help means moral support and assistance from your family and friend. It also implies therapy and counseling. Talk to people who will understand. Reach out to those who love you. Confide in experts like mental health counselors and suicidal ideation therapists. You will only get better and move on if you are under a therapy and treatment program like Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
What is anger management?
Anger is an emotion that may be experienced by people from time to time. This experience is considered normal when it can be controlled by the individual. However, there are certain people who face anger management issues. They get angry at petty things and often express their anger in a way that may be harmful or destructive to themselves or others around them. Oftentimes such disproportionate anger has some deeper, underlying reasons, such as a feeling of isolation, lack of attention, or not being acknowledged. Such behavior is usually responsible for causing complications in relationships and loss of psychological stability. With regard to health, excessive anger leads to a sudden rise in blood pressure, which may result in severe consequences.
According to Amy Morin, LCSW, “Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But many kids struggle to understand the difference between angry feelings and aggressive behavior.”
Anger management refers to a learning process that involves understanding the signs that trigger sudden outbursts of anger. The techniques learned here help the individual control their temper and deal with situations in a non-destructive way. Anger management helps ensure the physical and emotional safety of the individual as well as those around them.
Importance of Anger Management
- Teaches techniques to channel energy in a positive way and remain calm
- Helps to deal with pressure and stress related to work
- Reduces feeling of hostility towards others
- Aims at increasing harmony and productivity
- Prevents unnecessarily venting out frustration on others
- Helps to keep health in check by reducing increased blood pressure levels
- Prevents cases of probable heart issues by practicing certain techniques
- Helps control fears related to anger issues
- Builds better communication techniques that are more assertive
- Helps to build emotional intelligence to reduce chances of sudden outbursts
How is anger management done?
- Recognizing the causes – Anger management aims at understanding the real signs and symptoms of a probable outburst. These may be external events such as humiliation, loss of job, etc. or internal events such as thoughts of failure, frustration, etc. Recognizing these instances enable people to use their anger constructively and prevent serious consequences. It supports Ben Martin, Psy.D. claims that “anger can be expressed either directly through “lashing out” or indirectly through “passive-aggressive” behavior. With passive-aggressive behavior, individuals punish others by being belligerent, not responding, pouting, or simply running away.”
- Controlling impulses – This therapy helps people to see reason before acting on their anger. When people get angry they are unable to judge between right and wrong. Anger management helps to control impulses by looking at a situation logically. Thus, the individual is able to make an informed decision, reducing chances of destructive actions.
- Relaxation – Practicing various exercises and meditation techniques is a way to de-stress and vent out one’s frustration in a way that does not cause harm to the individual or others. It seeks to calm the individual. If this happens, then there are fewer instances where one has to control his/her anger and can find a permanent solution to the issue.
Online counseling helps by:
- Using cognitive behavior therapy for anger management
- Identifying personal triggers that can get individuals angry
- Learning to react according to the intensity of the situation
- Learning to let go of anger in situations where it is not required
- Responding to anger in a way that is harmonious
- Helping to develop self-control
- Helping to gain control over thoughts and actions
- Challenging behavior and thoughts that cause anger
Advantages of using online counseling:
- The individual does not have to change his/her schedule to get help
- Help is available all the time
- It is comparatively easier to enroll into an online counseling program
- The procedure allows individuals to talk about their regular progress and the therapy is fashioned accordingly
- Counseling is affordable
- It is accessible in rural regions
- Privacy and confidentiality of all the information shared
- Availability of help during anger outbursts
Always remember “connecting with a therapist can help you get through the “groundhog day” of never-ending cycles where you feel continually defeated.” says Chris Oneth LMFT.
On the average, mental illness kills more people than physical illness. Research proves that people with serious life threatening diseases like asthma, arthritis, angina, and cancer are less at risk compared to those who are suffering from depression. The good news is that there are treatments to cure individuals of such depressive mental conditions. The bad news is that people refuse to undergo such treatment or professional therapy even if it’s FREE; according to online therapy provider, they do not realize it is something more serious. In a more conservative society, any such therapy to treat depression is found to be a more personal concept.
If you find that your loved one, a parent, a guardian, a friend or a co-worker is going through any kind of psychological disturbance and needs complete care or support beyond what you can provide, below are some ways for encouraging a person to seek professional therapy.
“Love is the root of what brings each and every one of us to therapy—the need to understand love, the hunger and desperation to find love and experience love, the desire to love and the desire to be loved.” Stacy Donn Cristo, LMHC says.
At first, one needs to identify when a loved one requires proper professional help. Before advising the person to seek help, try to mark the person’s behavioral changes, physical changes and how often the person is participating in social meetings. Other reasons for concern include sleeping disorders, changes in weight and other disorders. Once these indications are noticed, a person may proceed to encourage in the following ways given below:
- Tell the person that the problem he is facing is very normal: Talk to the person and don’t force him/her to seek professional help in the beginning. Try to convince the person by saying that whatever he is facing is normal. Convince him that there is nothing to feel ashamed about. Remind him that this problem is very common to his age, gender, nationality, and society by referring to someone you may know. This will help the person relate his issue and will somehow console him. Give logics for this normatively. “Be supportive and let them know it is not that you think something is wrong with them, but that you want them to have some help with their current challenges. Sometimes, people who are depressed want help but don’t know how to get started,” says Vara Saripalli, PsyD.
- Let the person know that relationships you share matter a lot. Make him/her aware of their importance and try to build confidence. Let them know how much they matter to you and others in his/her life. Remind them that professional therapy won’t hurt emotions. Instead, the therapy will improve their mental state by curing anxiety issues, and phobias, thereby resulting in improved relationships.
- Make them aware that the problem is a reason of medical condition. Let the person know that depression or mental illness is a medical condition and can be treated like other conditions. Try to make a convincing conversation and do not use defensive language. Explain to them that it’s just like if they suffer from fever, They consult a doctor. Similarly, professional therapy will attempt to cure his mental illness. “Depression is real and painful. Just because you can’t see or touch it doesn’t make it any less real.” As explained by Charmaine J. Simmons, LPC.
- Let the person know how the illness is affecting other activities. Mental illness or depression though it involves psychological disturbance, may often interrupt other activities and ultimately harm relationships. Let the person know how the intense feeling is affecting how he interacts with other people, how his/her work performance is diminishing. If she is a mother, let her know how her profound feelings are disturbing her daily household activities. The key is that “change is baseline”. And it will be best if the person immediately seeks professional therapy in order to maintain things in their proper place.
To conclude, therapy improves people with depression in a variety of ways. There are different therapies depending on the person’s illness. If a person is ashamed of seeking professional help at centers, they may call the therapist at his/her own place. Professional therapy reveals a person internally and the results are long-term. Deciding to seek a therapist works effectively. Any person experiencing unusual behavior would benefit from therapy.
You might have heard of it from your trouble neighbor or from a friend who suffers from constant anxiety. They may have mentioned that they’re doing online counseling to help them deal with their everyday stresses. And you probably have some idea about it, but what really is E-counseling? How does it work? What is it and what is it not?
Simply put, e-counseling is a method of providing mental health services through the web. Online therapy, online teletherapy and cyber counseling are some of its other names. It is a fast-rising tool wherein an individual seeking professional help communicates with a counselor or therapist via email, chat or video conferencing to replace the traditional face to face therapy. Some people may also prefer to combine the two modalities. Continue reading “What You Need To Know About E-Counseling”
The idea of going to an office and sharing their concerns with a therapist face to face scares many people. They might have been feeling anxious and a bit off for months now, but they never have the nerves to call for an appointment to begin with! They try talking to a friend or a family member, but sometimes when the stress level is too high and the pressures are piling up, you know your mind and body needs professional help. This is exactly the reason why online counseling has become very popular nowadays. “Counseling can help you dive into some of these issues and determine what is at the root of the constant conflict.” Susan Block, LMFT said.
The emergence of finding help online has been making its way to changing the conventional methods of trying to help people solve their life problems. Such sensitive issues as depression, anxiety disorders, and different types of addiction are now being tackled by certified therapists helping people with addiction, depression, and anxiety disorders through a one-on-one live counseling from the comfort of their homes, or wherever they may feel safe, for that matter. There are two major services offered online: assessment and therapy. The former utilizes self-scored quizzes, evaluations, and examinations, and the latter involves the actual therapy session in a chat room. But remember “therapy is a lot of work and this is important to keep in mind before starting. It’s imperative to understand this so that you can set realistic expectations for yourself.” Nathaniel Cilley, LMHC explains.